You never talk about it
by NinjasForJustice
Summary: Ziva hasn't spoken about Somalia, now she may have to. Tony sees something she doesn't want him to. TIVA.


A/N Okay,  
so this is my first fanfiction, It's based (sort of, slightly, well not really) on a small conversation  
about Somalia or at least part of one between Tony and Ziva,( you never talk  
about it/ there is not much to say) Basically I used a few quotes from one  
episode and ended it with another.

I wasn't sure when to set this, so I'm thinking either soon after Zivas return  
from Somalia or late season 9, after her and Ray broke up. If it was set just  
after Somalia we can all just pretend Ray never existed

(I usually just read ff, but considering my internet is down and has been for  
at least a week I thought I'd give writing some a go) reviews would be  
loooovely  
+ I always see people adding disclaimers – so here is mine which I think is a  
little pointless b/c we clearly do not own ncis, if I did, TIVA would have been  
established a long time ago. Anyways-

'You Never Talk About It.'

Gibbs had just told everyone they could leave, McGee did so straight away, barely waving as he made his way to the elevator to go meet Abby, Gibbs headed upstairs  
whilst Tony turned his computer off and placed several balled-up pieces of paper into the bin. Ziva noticed what he was doing and decided to help,

'you know Tony, if your aim was as good as you say it is you would not have to spend time doing this.' She said with a smirk as she bent to pick up two of the crumpled pieces of paper that had ended up in front of her desk.

Tony looked up both to answer her and watch her bend – as he always did, only, he found himself unable to think of any sort of answer or sarcastic comment, as she had bent her olive green long-sleeved top had risen revealing a significant amount of her tanned back, usually this sight would have plastered a huge grin onto Tonys face, however he simply stared, tears pricking his eyes, covering her back were several dark scars, straight away he knew them to be remnants from Somalia, he looked away, quickly, he had to in order to think of something to say. He was lost, his mind was completely unfocused.  
Throwing the two balls directly into the waste paper bin next to McGee's desk Ziva turned to Tony, unaware of the reason behind his silence, there was a mixture of confusion and mocking in the smile she was currently giving.

'What's this? Rat got your tongue?'

'Cat, the saying is cat, Ziva, er, you, a, cat's got your tongue, not rat.' He said blinking several times.

'whatever, something has your tongue...DiNozzo, what is with you? Why are you staring like that?'

'Staring? I am not staring, ha, DiNozzo's do not stare, we observe-'

'Well, why are you observing me like that?' she pressed.

Before he had a chance to answer Gibbs strode back in '

Thought I told you to leave? Go on, go, whatcha waiting for? see you tomorrow.'

'Got it boss' Tony said walking out, silently glad to not have to explain himself.  
Ziva followed a few seconds later, as she did she felt her shirt bunching up, pulling it down it hit her, _how long had her shirt been like that? Had he seen? _She panicked and chose to take the stairs; she wanted to avoid Tony just in case.  
He got into his car and drove, only he didn't go home, for a while he simply drove, thinking about what he had seen, _why didn't she tell me? I know she was hurt, I never knew it was that bad though, I didn't want to think about it._ At the thought of someone hurting Ziva he became angry, upset even, how could anyone hurt her he thought. He decided to go to her, turning the car he made a stop at Karlos' Pizza shack, he knew she liked it there. Armed with a half pepperoni, half Hawaiian pizza, two cans of Coke and a slice of Vanilla cheesecake he got from Ziva's favourite late-night bakery he made the drive to her apartment in record time.  
She had been in twenty minutes before she heard the doorbell, at first she ignored it, she guessed it would either be Tony or the kids from across the hall, neither of which she really wanted to see, she thought whoever was knocking had left when she heard his voice.

'Zi...Zi? Hey, I know you in, your cars out front.' He said not taking his eyes of the door handle.

She stayed silent for a moment trying to arrange her thoughts, she had to answer didn't she?

'Zi, come on? I-'

'Tony, what are you doing here?' she asked half hiding behind the door she had just opened.  
He eyed her stance, noticing how she seemed nervous and on edge he moved slowly past her instead of waiting for an invitation he figured may never come entering her living room and sinking down into the large sofa occupying the centre of the room. Before she had a chance to say anything Tony spoke.

'I bought pizza, thought you might be hungry.' He said flashing her a cheesy grin.

'I can cook for myself you know Tony...' She began and he could tell she had her defences up, fearing she may have sounded too harsh she continued.

'... but I suppose there is no need to now, I take it you plan on staying, shall I choose the movie or do you want to?' She said locking the door and joining him on the sofa.  
He noticed how she had since put on a long, baggy sweatshirt and had decided to sit as far from him as possible, he took in her closed posture and the wary look she had on her face as he passed her the closed pizza box  
'Half pepperoni, half Hawaiian and – and actually I er, I kind of thought, um-'

'spit it out Tony, are you okay? 'She interrupted

'Me? Yeah, _I'm _fine, movie sounds good, you pick.' He was amused at both how she somehow managed to be concerned for him as well as the fact he was allowing her to pick a movie, he figured it didn't matter what was playing, neither of them would pay much attention to it.

'Hey, that's actually a good choice, you have learned well grasshopper, James Bond is a classic and it just so happens that this is one of my personal favourites, yeah, Roger Moore was always the best Bond.' He said deciding to keep the mood light for now.

She put the film on, placed the empty case on the coffee table and took her place back on the sofa, only this time she appeared a little more relaxed and was now sitting slightly closer than she was before.

'Oh, hey, Zi, I gotcha a slice of that cake you like.'  
Seeing the box he held out to her she recognised the design, realising he'd gone all the way across town to get her the cheesecake she liked.

'Vanilla cheesecake? Thank you Tony.' She said smiling down at the box she had already started opening.

They sat and watched the film in silence for almost half an hour before Tony pressed pause,

'Hey, I was watching that!' she said tossing a pillow in his direction.

He said nothing, he just stared at her plucking up the courage to say what he had planned, moments of silence followed as the two sat motionless looking at one another, finally he spoke.

'You never talk about it.'

Immediately she knew what he was referring to.

'There is not much to say.' She answered shaking her head, unable to maintain eye contact.

He could tell she was uncomfortable, yet he could also tell that there was something she wasn't telling him.

'really, cause the scars on your back say otherwise.' His voice was soft yet challenging as he spoke.

Her whole body tensed as he spoke, but she didn't speak, she couldn't, she did not know what to say.

'Zi, please talk to me.'

She said nothing, she simply stared at the pillow that had landed on the floor near his right leg and toyed with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

'Ziva, you can tell me, hey, Zi, look at me.'

She looked up at him, her eyes were dark and glazed with the tears she was desperately trying to hold back, one slipped out and rolled slowly down her cheek. Tony went to brush it away with his thumb only Ziva saw and grabbed his wrist throwing him sideways onto the floor, as soon as she did this she let him go, she knew he wouldn't hurt her, it was Tony.

'Tony, I...' She struggled to find the words she needed, her eyes however managed to convey the apology her lips couldn't.

'Oh Zi, it's okay, I'm sorry, come here.' He said cautiously retaking his seat on the sofa and reaching out inviting Ziva into his arms. She hesitated then leaned into his shoulder; she couldn't help but feel safe and at home cuddled into Tony. She buried her face into his chest and closed her eyes tightly, willing the tears to go away, Tony placed a kiss in her dark curls, brushing back the few wildly falling into her eyes and tightened his grip on her using his free hand to rub soothing strokes up and down her back. He felt her begin to cry, she was silent but she was shaking and would occasionally move her hand to wipe her cheek.

'It's okay Zi, I'm here, I promise you I will never let anyone hurt you again, okay, I'm not going anywhere, you can trust me, I will always have your back.' He had to  
fight back his own tears at this point, he hated seeing the woman he loved this vulnerable. She moved her head away from his chest so she could look at him to speak, only she was unable to say anything, for what seemed like ages the pair just sat silently holding each other looking at one another, it was at this point that he realised once again that he would do absolutely anything for Ziva. Eventually she broke the silence,

'They are from Saleem' Hearing his name out loud, even thought she had said it herself caused her to stop for a moment, her mind flooded with images from the camp.

'- he knew I would not simply tell him all he wanted to know, so...he did not... he wasted no time, it was the same everyday Tony, I couldn't do anything, I mean, I tried to fight back, but it was never just him, they were all too strong, I couldn't stop them... I couldn't stop anything, I had no control at all, I just, I had to keep remembering all your faces, I would try to pretend that I was still at NCIS, that I was still on Gibbs' team, that, that I was still your partner'  
He sat and listened to her tell her story, she spoke of Somalia and Saleem and everything that happened to her over that summer, she stopped for a second and then spoke again.

'Tony – I am sorry, I...' This time it was he who interrupted her.

'Zi, you have nothing to apologise for you hear me? Nothing, what that bastard did to you was not your fault, you did not deserve any of it at all and he's dead now, so he can't ever hurt you again, it's over Zi, it's all over, you're back, you're safe, you've got me. I'm not going anywhere.'

She looked at him and her tears continued to fall, this time however when Tony moved to wipe one away she did not react violently, nor did she react defensively, she leaned into his touch and placed her own hand over his.

'I know Tony, I know you will never leave me and I am truly grateful for that, for you, I...I would not be here if it wasn't for you...and the others, Thank you Tony, you are everything to me, you are my best friend'

He listened to her words and smiled before he spoke, 'you're mine too and do you know what?'

'What?' she asked hoping she already knew the answer

'and... I, I'm in love with my best friend.' He finally said.

She stared at him for a few moments. _He loves me? Why? I am damaged goods. I am a killer. I am covered in scars and he loves me. _

'I love you too, Tony DiNozzo.' She said unable to stop the smile spreading across her face.

He leaned down capturing her lips, as he did she leaned into him, their kiss was full of passion, it was slow and yet fierce and there was a sense of desperation coming from the pair, her hands came up to rest on his chest over his heart and behind his neck, when they eventually pulled away to breathe she rested her head into the crook of his neck.

'Tony, please don't go, stay with me tonight?' she said, she hated sounding clingy but she hated the thought of being away from Tony more.

'just tonight? Mmm, I'm not going anywhere Zi, I promise. Ever.'

She was still crying, only much less now and she managed to say thank you. This time however they weren't just tears of hurt or tears of sadness, they were of joy and relief that she was finally in his arms, safe. It was in this way she fell asleep, Tony watched her as she lay peacefully curled into him, still stroking patterns on her back, just as his eyes began to close as he was giving into sleep a small snore escaped from Ziva's throat waking Tony, he was unable to stop himself laughing, it didn't wake her, but he did feel her grip on him tighten, with that he decided it would be best if he carried her into her room. He tucked her into bed and joined her under the covers, before he even had the chance to take hold of her again she had already found her way back into his arms.

'Laila Tov Tony'

'I thought you were asleep ninja?'

'I was, sort of, but I, I was afraid that if I did fall asleep you would not be here when I-'

'Zi, I am not going anywhere, I already promised that, so you're stuck with me.' Tony said half-laughing as he started to run his free hand through her dark curls again.

She reached her hand up, placing it on his cheek and kissed him one last time before she rested her head back on his chest.

'I love you Tony'

'I love you too Ziva, I'm just sorry I didn't say it sooner.'

'mmm, me too.'

'Oh and Ziva?'

'Yes?' she replied not lifting her head from his chest.

You are back on Gibbs' team and you are my partner and I wouldn't have it any other way.'

'Toda.'

'Prego'


End file.
